SeEing thInGs iN bLacK anD whiTe

yeah, im in love again..


the same bitter feeling... i walk far away from him when we leave the classroom because i cant bear him... i can't live without him.. but i can't bear to be without him...



i hate this...


im not in love with greg.. but loving him is easy.. so natural.. so easy... like i was breathing in the love...


but this... this feeling.. where everything in my body reacts... i cant even breath when we have that class... im dying.. and living.. alive because of him...


i'm in love with the guy with el pelo peligroso.....


my mind, my heart, my body is in love with him.. extreme...


so extreme.. just like how love should be....

A giggle erupted from my throat as they told me that the needle would be large.

"Are you kidding?"

'No'

He put something to numb the top of my tongue. Then he filped it and proceded to prick the middle part without the vein.

Nope, I don't really feel much pain. But I was trembling. Why?

Ten seconds later I had a red stud on my tongue. A little blood. Thats it.

I could still speak. But I couldn't eat.

The belly button was much more painful.

A week later, It half healed.

I could eat like a normal person now.

It doesnt even hurt anymore.

Im used to it.

Why am I so attracted to pain?

it is so sad...

i havent blogged for anout 3 months....

and christmas is coming up....

so merry xmas to you all.....


this is sad....

some fucking people...

why doesnt that bitch just get a fucking life.... ahhhhhh....


grrr...... grrr... fine.. thats the ultimate sign na...
as if uuuggghhhhhh...... fucking squeezy bitch.....


go to hell....


the fire goes with your flamed eyes.....

i think therefore i am...


hahaha.. okay... something freaked me out this evening...


please dont do that again... please....

The petals of my perfect, sinful rose are loose...

The stem is bending...

The musky sweet scent fades away every second...

I am dying with it, but I am dying without it...

The petals are mashed in my pained hand..

I let it go, It falls to the ground...

Crumpled...

Slowly, I erase it from existence...

The death of My greatest pleasure...

My greatest sin....

The death of my Rose....

okay manong...

since mom and dad know...

m going to tell you na...

i got a pierce in my belly button po...

hahaha.. i know as u read it...

u will laugh and think how stupid i am..

but no...

its not because of peer pressure...

ive wanted to do this for years...

now i saved up for it na...
and i got it done.. wahahaha...

bahala ka...

anyway this message is only for manong lang.. hahaha....

those who know me... will never guess what i did... because its strange.. and bad... hahaha.. and behind my parents back... hahaha... ang sama ko.. wahahaha...


okay.... u wanna know what it is????


yeah??


are u sure??


really???



sige na nga...


hahahaha..


i got a tattoo.....


of a butterfly....


in my back.....


hahaha...


it actually hurts....


very much....


but it was so worth it....


because it is so beautiful....


hahahahahaha...


do you believe me????


dont...


because thats not what i got done..


hahahaha....


m just kidding....


i wont tell you....


just read the title....


and think for yourself...


if u want to know....


ask me...


basta its so cool....


its color pink....


wahahahaha...


it hurt like hell.. but just for a while... now it aint painful na....


yehey....


the guy sed it will be healed in a week...


or two...


by then i will have changed it na..


it wont be pink anymore...


it will be simply a clear crystal....


i havent told much people but half my class know...


hahaha.. also nic and panch...


hahaha...


bad girl ako..


anyway.. i wont say anymore...


manong reads my blog...


he will kill me...


well until he sees it...


then he'll sa its so cool.. hahaha.. joke..


sige ayan lang... bye...

ps... school rocks.... exept for the fact that i see people everyday who dislike me because im noisy.. oh well... im not going to dislike them even though they dislike me... im not like that....

today wasn't all that bad... half day lang kami...

and no i will not start ranting about my crush and about what we spoke about kanina... coz manong ian will kill me and this guy who i am in crush with...

and i wouldn't want that would i?

hahahaha..

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~~~***~~~

everyday we learn something about life.

i guess collge is a big part of me now, just like high school was to me before...

i want to join the collegiat mover.. or the school paper.. hahaha.. i think i will..

i will aspire to become a deans lister... um.. if i can... hahahaha

i guess sometimes when something new in our life comes, we tend to forget or ignore parts of our old life....

camille says i havent been texting her... but seriously i have been busy studying...

i dont understand how i can be like this after a week.. um i will not say what exactly is happening to me, but i will say that it overwhelms me so much i dont understand... maybe its the fact that i have submitted myself to feeling what im feeling, all i know is that if i let my heart just feel it.. it would be better than trying to hold it back or trying to stop it, which now i cant... so now, i will let myself feel it.. all its intensity, its beauty, its sadness... after all after its over, i will learn something again... like i always do...

tomorrow me ives, kat, hannah and i think some of my other blockmates will go to town... im going to buyy colored contacts... so will ives... ives plans to buy red ones while i plan to buy either orange or blue or green ones... depend on what looks good on me... its inspired by kat's grey "artificial eyes color". i plan to have it for a month... but maybe who knows. maybe i could buy again next month.. hehehe... so i wanna have fun with that...

i guess im also looking forward to going to town with my friends tomorrw and watching the long awaited batman begins, coz last week we watched madagascar.. hahaha.. anyway i hope i have fun tomorrw...

nga pala nasira phone ko.. papaayos ko sa sunday or tomorrw.. im using my globe muna on my dads phone.. hehehe sige un lang baybayyy... *muwwaahh*